How’s the Weather in China

WASHINGTON — I have good news for my readers. I come with glad tidings. November was a month of clement weather throughout these United States. Not only that, but the weather reports for December are going to be even better. I predict the weather for December is going to be absolutely balmy, even tropical in our southern climes. Put away your ugly goulashes. Pack up your earmuffs. January will be flip-flop weather. We are facing a suntan climate for months to come. We are going to have 70-degree weather probably all the way to springtime, and after that, who knows? By that time, we shall be facing the summer months. How warm can it get?

You might well ask what have I been drinking, or even worse, what have I been smoking? Well, I have neither been drinking nor smoking. I am as clean as a hound’s tooth. I have been trying to …