Man with explosive lodged in rectum sparks bomb scare…

The case left doctors shell shocked. 

A French hospital was partially evacuated Saturday after a senior citizen arrived with a World War I artillery shell lodged in his rectum. 

The 88-year-old patient visited Hospital Sainte Musse in Toulon to have the antique explosive removed — but instead sparked a “bomb scare,” French publication Var-Matin reported. 

“An emergency occurred from 9 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. on Saturday evening that required the intervention of bomb disposal personnel, the evacuation of adult and pediatric emergencies as well as the diversion of incoming emergencies,” a hospital spokesperson stated. 

“We had to manage the risk in a reactive framework,” the rep added. “When in doubt, we took all the precautions.”

Oh, shell no! The WWI relic measured almost 8 inches long and more than 2 inches wide. Twitter / @acommonlawyer

Bomb disposal experts at the scene determined there was little possibility the shell would explode inside the man. 

“They reassured us by telling us that it was a collector’s item from the First World War, used by the French military,” the hospital stated. 

Stunned doctors subsequently began the process of trying to remove the object — which measured almost 8 inches long and more than 2 inches wide — from the man’s rectum. 

It’s believed the pervy patient inserted the item up his anus for sexual pleasure. 

“An apple, a mango or even a can of shaving foam, we are used to finding unusual objects inserted where they shouldn’t be,” one doctor declared. “But a shell? Never!”

“We had to manage the risk in a reactive framework,” a hospital spokesperson declared. “When in doubt, we took all the precautions.”Hôpital Sai …